Shortly after our miscarriage in August 2018, we had a foster child placed with us (more on that later). There wasn’t a whole lot of time to grieve our loss and to grieve the loss of hope for having our own children. Our feelings had to be put on hold to care for the little one in our home.
During the foster child’s hospitalization, I spoke with someone about my recent experience with miscarriage and she recommended Sharing Parents. It took me a couple of weeks before researching the organization but when I finally did, I quickly realized it was something Andrew and I needed to attend.
They have a grief series for incoming parents who’ve lost a child during pregnancy or shortly after giving birth. The series is 4 weeks with 1 session a week where you share your story, talk about what grief is, dealing with your own expectations and the expectations of other people. They also meet monthly and once a year in October, they have a memorial near the State Capital.
As the first session approached, I was very apprehensive. Were people going to judge me because I was grieving when I was only 8 weeks pregnant? Are people going to understand my grief of not being about to have my own children? Holding Andrew’s hand, we walked into a very supportive, caring environment that put my mind at ease.
There were 7 couples (including us) and three wonderful ladies who were there to help guide the conversation and provide information and support. The moderators (I forget what they called themselves) had also lost a child and so were uniquely able to help guide us through the grieving process.
We each shared our experience and while everyone’s story was different, there was something with which we could relate. Some lost a child as early as us and some were much further along. It was some people’s first child while others had children at home. Some had a chance to hold their angel before he or she passed away and others never got to meet their little one. With all that said, we all were grieving. We were all hurting.
At the end, I still felt sadness (maybe even more so because they gave me the ability to know what I was feeling was ok). But, I was given tools and support to help me understand where I was and how to get to the other side. It also brought up things for Andrew and I to discuss about our experience so we could get through our loss together.
For more information about Sharing Parents, click here.
Seeking Baby Burke 